Full collection of my wonderful 大兵日記.
Each conscript of the ROC military is required to write 2 entries each week, one for your thoughts about a given topic, and another as your general journal about what happened in the past week.
I didn’t modify the contents other than correcting some grammar and spelling errors.
Disclaimer: Don’t be triggered. These are just sarcasm or straight-up bullshits only to spice up my military life.
Those with ඞ prefixes are my favorites.
Technical Analysis
The general tone of my journal entries is sarcastic. I placed myself as a loyal believer in the traditional ROC ideology of hailing Chiang Kai‐shek and despising CCP. The common theme of many of my entries is Chiang Kai‐shek (appeared as 蔣中正/蔣公/Mr. 蔣) and George Orwell with his 1984. This is because in the Chiang Kai‐shek era of the Republic of China, it was quite literally, “literally 1984”. The ROC military, particularly in the training phase, is literally 1984 as well, as it should be. Popularized by online meme communities, these sarcastic authoritarian ideology stuff are pretty funny as well, so they naturally were frequently mentioned in my 大兵日記.
The language is a mix of English, Chinese, and Spanish. If you don’t know Chinese, you’d be fine, as I mostly only used Chinese in some of the meme phrases. But if you don’t know at least A2 level of Spanish, then you might not understand what I was saying in some parts of some of the entries, since I used Spanish in many common vocabularies.
ඞ 2023.07.06 勇於檢舉不法，落實公款法用
我認為中華民國的雄壯威武的國軍理應不畏階級的限制，勇於檢舉鄰兵或是長官，包括班長、連長、營長、或甚至中華民國之三軍統帥，蔡英文總統。一個國家最重要的是其人民。沒有人，何來國？因此，我們應確實使用國家老百姓賺來的血汗錢，將其用於社會福利，取之於人，用之於人，而不是把納稅人的錢送進貪官污吏的口袋裡！若是有士兵畏於階級，包庇長官，那麼他雖然升遷比較快，口袋也比較深，但卻是跟萬萬個中華民國龍騰虎要的國民作對！這種人肯定會不得好死，墜入永劫不復的煉獄之中，終世無法達到 Nirvana。
班長 comment: 你這個心得 … 你來找我好了
2023.07.06 入伍
在民國一百一十二年六月二十九日，我進入了中華民國陸軍二五七旅步二營步二連擔任雄壯又威武的中華民國陸軍。從百餘年前的聲勢雄壯的黃埔建軍之始，中華民國歷經了多方苦難，包括棄國投匪，失去精忠的革命壯士。近期，我國面臨的共匪的威脅挑撥又逐漸加重，能在中華民國面臨主權挑戰之際，投入國軍，報效國家，實在讓我感動地聲淚俱下！一進軍營，我們便接受到了長官的熱切招待，入軍中便有如回到自家一般。軍中設備也十分豪華，每個人竟然都有一句床鋪！二百萬年前的原始人肯定無法想像日好會有一個雄壯威武的大國為底下士兵提供如此先進的福利！
2023.07.09 認清敵情威脅，確為國家安全
身為龍騰虎要的鐵一般的中華民國陸軍士兵，我們必須時刻保持警覺，不為共非為了懷柔軟弱的中華兒女所寄出的種種手段所誘惑。當代中華男兒已嚴重偏離國父孫文以及鐵一般的將領，蔣結石，的遺志。大家都愛用中國貨，早上滑抖音，下午滑小紅書，晚上看中國的說唱節目，完全實現的我國青天白日滿地紅的情勢。人民已完全赤化，只剩尊榮的中國國民黨繼續執行蔣公遺志，為了復興中華而鐵騎奔騰撼山崗，在明耀的日月下揮動著金歌。有鑑於此，大家一畢業就應加入中國國民黨。我們陸軍人人頭上繡著國民黨黨徽，就是在執行蔣公遺志。唯有熟讀蔣語錄，才能認清毛語錄的威脅，保護國家安全！
ඞ 2023.07.09 Literally 1984
班長教了我們許多軍歌，其中〈為陸軍當家〉的一行歌詞卻讓我感到非常困惑。「一切照規定，一切講效果」，這首歌如是說，但是依據我在軍中的所見所聞，大部分的規矩既無效率也無成果，何來效果？我苦思許久，突然回想起，原來這就是大名鼎鼎的 doublethink！想當初，George Orwell 先生被鐵一般的將領，蔣介石先生，之殲滅共匪，復興中華的決心為感動，特地為龍騰虎要的中華國國軍寫了聞名天下的《1984》，作為中華民國國軍的軍隊統治要領。在軍營的期間，我也的確深深感受到了 2B2C 的確遵守著《1984》的精神。除了受到 big brother 的全面監管，doublethink 的強況也隨處可見。國父孫文先生在天之靈看的了想必備感欣慰！中華民國萬萬歲！
班長 comment: 你這一篇寫得不錯，1984 也寫出來了，加油
2023.07.12 恪遵演習紀律，達成作戰任務
Since the ROC Army was built upon George Orwell’s 1984 initially, due to mutual admiration between him and Mr. 蔣, it’s vital for regular ROC soldiers to obey every single rule from their superiors, even if they’re utterly ridiculous. From history, it is evident that only authoritarian governments can achieve great things. Mr. 孫 claims 三民主義 to be the best, yet his country was beaten by the Chinese Communist Party which blindly obeyed Mr. Mao. Murica claims itself to be the leader of the free world, yet gun violence is so prevalent. On the contrary, in the world of 1984 & ROC Army, where everyone is the literal slave of the people higher in the hierarchy, the society is so stable and peaceful. Therefore, we should listen to whatever rules our superiors say.
ඞ 2023.07.13 深化全民韌性，堅實同儕實力
In order to enhance the military power of the Republic of China, I suggest the ROC Army force every single soldier, including those in the mandatory military training, to smoke. As a non-smoker, when I stumbled upon our supervisor smoking in their room, which is located in the room right next to ours, I was so irritated. However, after a few nights of second-hand smoke, I began to understand. By exposing us to second-hand smoke, we’ll be more likely to have miserable late lives such as lung cancer and other diseases, thus reducing the incentive for us to live. When we are in a fight with disgusting CCP thieves, we face two options: fight to death and ascend to heaven where Mr. 孫 lives, or give up and become a PRC citizen, live to 60 yo, and then die of extremely painful lung cancer, unable to reach Nirvana. Which to choose? I think the answer is clear.
2023.07.16 嚴禁網路簽賭，慎防涉法欠債
The Internet is a very dangerous place. There are all sorts of things on the Internet, including all sorts of dangers. Fortunately, Mr. 孫 & Mr. 蔣, being very ahead of their time, had already anticipated that. As a countermeasure, they invented an extremely sophisticated and advanced piece of software, called the MDM, the Mighty Destructive Malware. Everyone in the ROC Army is required to install this malware, which will perform some destructive operations on your phone, making you unable to use the Internet, therefore not possible to be scammed by Internet scammers. This is why the ROC Army is such a mighty legion. TikTok, 小紅書, and whatever malware the CCP introduced will not be able to scam us ROC Army with MDM on!
ඞ 2023.07.16 刺槍術
In the 2nd week of the military training, we were welcomed with a series of really important trainings that equipped us with the power to face even the strongest enemy. For example, we were taught to use the knife on our rifle and our rifle itself to overcome our enemies. But how does that even work? It’s fairly simple actually. In the rich 5000-year history of the Chinese civilization, our martial arts have developed to a point where we are able to deflect bullets with knives and kill 10 people with a swing of our rifle. Therefore, by training us in the art of swinging our rifles around and using knives to defend ourselves against bullets, each of us is already able to conquer a 100-people infantry troop. Hail Mr. 蔣 for creating such a mighty army!
2023.07.27 建立安全共識，防敵滲透搜情
To prevent our enemies, or more specifically, the disgusting CCP thieves, from stealing our intelligence, it’s time for the incredible MDM, the Mighty Destructive Malware, to come to our service once again. Not only can the MDM protect our data, but it can also be deployed to the edge devices of our enemies and destroy their important data. We can achieve it by deploying the malware as a microservice served by a Kubernetes cluster hosted in an edge server located in Beijing that is already in our control. Afterward, we can issue commands through REST API and initiate the self-replicating process to create 100M copies of MDM and send them to retarded Winnie the Pooh associates via phishing mails. Since President Xi’s highest degree is elementary school, he wouldn’t know it’s a phishing mail, and before long, MDM will conquer China for us!
班長 comment: 我等你的新文章
2023.07.27 Quarantine
For the past week, I was home-quarantined due to being infected with the A virus. At first, I thought it was a blessing for being able to be relieved from the training, but soon, I realized how wrong I was. After revising my paper and sending it to my professor, since he said he wanted to submit it himself for a better chance of being accepted, I found myself not knowing what to do! I missed the time when I was in the camp and my day was filled with so many time-wasting activities. Also, I felt so guilty for sleeping in a nice double bed in an air-conditioned room instead of a narrow filthy bed in a 60-men room while poor kids in Africa are still starving, and citizens in the CCP-controlled region are 1984-ed by the Orwellian government that is almost on par with the ROC Army.
ඞ 2023.08.01 注重禮節，整肅儀容，不得有褻蕩浪漫之行為
Rigorous and strongly enforced rules are what make the ROC Army the strongest army in the world. However, sometimes rules are not enough. When we are confined by rules that don’t make any sense, we’ll still obey them, but only reluctantly. To make the soldiers in the most vigilant army in the world understand why not to do certain things and obey them wholeheartedly, it’s important to have an anti-role model. This is exactly why our supervisors smoke in their private room, located right next to our 60-person room. When we wake up in agony from the disgusting second-hand smoke of theirs, we’ll know that this type of behavior is a 褻蕩浪漫之行為, something that only CCP thieves would do!
ඞ 2023.08.01 Typhoon
A very unfortunate thing happened this week. A mighty typhoon came and disrupted our final examination, depriving our chance to walk 20 km with full armor and a big black rifle away. This alone causes the military power of the ROC Army to have a 1000 points reduction, very bad for the world economy. Fortunately, our 鐵一般的連長 decided to let us carry all of our luggage home and then back to the camp again for no reason at all other than giving us a final chance to develop migzhty muscles on our arms as well as our legs. With this countermeasure, our military power reduction has been compensated, and the S&P 500 is soaring again, reaching an all-time high. The Republic of China has once again achieved 世界大同 just as what Señor 孫 had envisioned!
2023.08.03 Persevere with Love 愛的堅持
Love is not only the driving force for us to live on, but also the sole reason we’re able to make it through, however narrowly, the one-month training phase of the obligatory military service in the mighty ROC Army. One cannot compare the ROC Army to that of Hitler, but the world of 1984, the one that George Orwell envisioned, is indeed comparable. For the past month, we were under the surveillance of our supervisors 24/7, our freedoms were close to none, and we had to obey whatever rules they set, however ridiculous, and however contradictory to the previous rules they set. “Down is the New Up” by Radiohead is a perfect depiction of the ROC Army. And guess what backed us throughout the whole misery? It’s love! Love is the only reason we’re still alive after a month of agony,
2023.08.03 Military Hospital
Our new camp in the military hospital in Taichung is basically a paradise compared to the previous shithole in Chaiyi. There are a few pieces of workout equipment that have been locked, there’s a bathroom reminiscent of something 30 years ago that respects anything but your privacy, and there’s even a luxurious shower room with as many as 4 cubes, creating a 3-hour showering queue in the night. But most importantly, we’re finally allowed to use our phones all day long in an air-conditioned room! Some of our mates even stayed up and played video games on their phones all night long. This place is just so awesome that they even forced us to stay here until Saturday, unlike how we had to head back home as soon as Friday night previously. Such a treat!
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This did not age well since many of my sarcasm turned out not to be true later on.
2023.08.10 興趣是最好的老師，老師不在怎麼辦
Maybe our interests are the best teachers, but even if they are non-existent, our precious lives are still worthy! As long as we can preserve with love, there’s nothing that can’t be solved! Love is our driving force to live on in this miserable, unfair, and shitty world. In the first month of our obligatory military training, we lived in a 1984-esque world. Every of our actions was under surveillance, and our freedom was deprived. There were times when we thought we couldn’t make it through, but in the end we still survived. How so? It’s all about love! The love to this vulnerable but invaluable life. With love, everything is possible, even if we have zero interest in anything in the world!
ඞ 2023.08.10 Good Things Come in Twos
I am assigned to the Healthcare Quality Assurance team, responsible for collecting medical data of the hospital and ensuring that everything is within standards. Like all other departments, ours have some budgets to buy stationaries every month, and they use the money to buy a luxurious coffee machine. But good things don’t come in one, but two, literally. Due to the excellent performance of our department, President Tsai had secretly rewarded us with a 50% off bonus. As a result, everything we’ve ordered, from pens to tapes to coffee beans to coffee machine, all arrived in x2 quantity! Praise President Tsai for such generosity to her soldiers and medical staff! This is the sole reason why Taiwan is still standing strong despite the constant immense pressure from the CCP thieves!
2023.08.17 人生如逆旅，越孤獨越自由
In Spanish, it’s very common to append “se” to verbs, meaning to do something to oneself. This applies to “love” too. “Amar” is to love, while “amarse” is to love oneself, whether it’s yourself or other people. To express that you love yourself, you can say “amarme”. Just like the topics of the last two weeks, love is once again the sole supporting factor of everyone’s life. By loving ourselves, or in Spanish, amarnos, we can reach the absolute freedom in our life, unstoppable by any sort of obstacles. The founder of Buddhism, 達摩祖師, also said that he was only able to reach Nirvana after ditching all the people he loved, and loved only himself instead. To understand the meaning of life, one must be totally alone and be a narcissist!
ඞ 2023.08.17 The Weight of Lives
Having worked in several big tech companies, where everything is handled online, including administrative stuff, I found the all-paper approach of the 803 hospital insufferable at first. However, after a short while, comenzé entender the meaning of it. By maintaining the methodology of the boomer generation, having every single thing in physical paper, we’re able to feel the weight of every piece of document. Each piece of copy-pasted information is carried by a part of los árboles, the lung of the Earth. It is through killing these lives that we are able to sustain the operation as a military hospital, saving dozens of lives week in week out. Had these patients been served with lifeless and cold machines only, we would not be able to recognize how precious our lives are! Only through murder, do we achieve Nirvana!
2023.08.24 弘揚八二三精神，提升憂患意識
Only through the horror of wars, do we understand how important some things in life are. When we are at peace, we tend to become too accustomed to it, and ignore that things in life should not just be taken for granted. We became arrogant, and forget the precious people around us. We always expect our parents, our lovers, our children, and our friends to still be existing for another day, but then all of a sudden, 470 missiles, launched by the CCP thieves, traveled across the tiny Taiwan Strait and killed all of our loved ones. To prevent such a jump scare from ever happening again, we should never forget that, CCP people are disgusting thieves that may attempt to perform genocide on Taiwanese people at any given chance!
2023.08.24 System Design
Having worked at several tech companies and read the bible of system design in software engineering, “Designing Data-Intensive Applications,” I recommend the hospital have a thorough redesign of the online transactional processing system as well as the online analytical processing system, with the aim to adopt modern system design techniques and improve the currently miserable efficiency. For now, many of the important healthcare quality-related data are stored as local copies in multiple computers, which is a huge anti-pattern. Having redundancy is critical in handling important data, but certainly not this way! Instead, there should be an internal portal for medical staff to enter the data, and the data should be stored in a relational database management system, where the data is split and duplicated using the most resilient RAID protocol. (to be continued)
2023.08.31 領導原則
Mr. 蔣介石 is the greatest human being that has ever existed en la Tierra, our precious planet. In one of the anthems of the ROC military, it said that generals and soldiers should be iron-like, as tough as iron. Sin embargo, Mr. 蔣 is literally hecho de iron. Fue más duro que bullets! Under his guidance, the ROC army developed a martial art, llamó 刺槍術, which was how Mr. 蔣 personally fought in numerous wars. He would use his rifle as well as se brazos para deflect the bullets and then give critical strikes with his cuchillo! Fue el solo razón que the ROC army could survive through the terror of the CCP thieves! Such mavilloso leader is the role model to todos la gente en el mundo!
ඞ 2023.08.31 送公文
The internal messaging system is one of the most spectacular things in the hospital. Most tech companies nowadays use Slack, Teams, or some self-implemented systems to communicate internally, pero the 803 hospital still make people exchange important data with physical paper through the hallways, which is an unencrypted channel opened to any sort of attacks, including man-in-the-middle attacks. This may look tonto at first glance, but it’s actually following the principles of the spiritual mentor of Mr. 蔣介石, 秦始皇. Cryptography has existed for a long time, even in WW2, but not 2000 years ago. In that period, soldiers had to protect and transfer important secret documents even at the cost of their lives! By exposing messengers to great danger, the value of each piece of 公文 can be much more valued. This is exactly the reason why the 803 hospital still uses the old-fashioned tech that should have been retired 20 years ago!
ඞ 2023.09.07 The Beauty of Trust
Trust is the single most prestigious virtue en el mundo. Mi amigo once told me a very inspiring story. Habia una vez, he was on his way to go to an interview for a shiny startup for a tech evangelist role, when a dog suddenly appeared in front of him. El perro was in really bad shape, craving for comida. It was only cinco minutos antes de the interview, pero the closest food stand was 10 minutes away. Entonces, he decided to sacrifice himself for the poor perro, despite the possibility that the dog might be lying. He pulled out his cuchillo and cut down a piece of his pierna and handed it to the dog, before llegó de la empresa just on time! And when he stepped into the meeting room, encontraba a the dog sitting on the chair. Turned out the dog is the CEO of the company! He was invited to be his chief tech evangelist right away. Always trust in trust!
2023.09.07 水銷
Each month, the 803 hospital will invite its little minions to carry tons of wasted paper, documents that are not needed anymore, to several military trucks, which will then send these papers to a specialized factory for destruction. These recycled paper will then be made into recycled paper, and no one will use them! Recycled tissue paper only shares 5% of all tissue paper used in Taiwan, while the figure is much higher in advanced countries like European countries, the US, and Japan. This is because of the precious and prestigious values invented by 蔣中正 the Great. 蔣中正 the Great, el Grande, once collaborated with visionary George Orwell to devise a mighty mindblowing marvelous set of laws, encoded in the book 1984, which has become the code of conduct of the ROC Army ever since the book came out. According to it, recycling and repairing old things is not a virtue, but a sin! With the success of Taiwan’s obligatory military service, which penetrated the whole society, these values are now shared by todos la gente en la isla!
ඞ 2023.09.14 如何讓習慣變得難以拒絕
Human beings are the last animal to talk about self-discipline. When ants are busy stealing your food, you are playing 傳說對決, and when cockroaches are laying eggs in your toilet, you are destroying your brain with TikTok. Fortunately, the greatest human being of all time, Mr. 蔣中正, saved the human species once again with his wonderful invention. Partnered with George Orwell, he created a thing called Room 101, which is a way to make everyone able to pick up anything easily. If you want to get up early every day and practice Mr. 蔣’s 刺槍術 or read 蔣語錄 for 6 hours a day but failed to make it a hobby, just go into Room 101 and face endless torture by the spiritual descendants of 蔣介石. After a few times, out of fear of another torture, you’ll be able to read 蔣語錄 every day through self-discipline!
2023.09.14 System Design 2
Por el segunto parte de “Reimagining 803 Hospital’s Database Management System,” we look at the tradeoff between availability and durability. To enhance both of them, having replication and partition is of the utmost priority. Sin embargo, there are a lot of nuances in how to approach them. Different approaches will result in different kinds of availability and durability. First of all, there’s the leader-follower method in replication. With this approach, read operation can be served through all of the nodes, while writes can only be applied to the leader node. The changes will then be made to the follower nodes asynchronously, usually within seconds, but when network problems occur, it may very well be a lot longer. When the leader node dies, a fail-over can happen, promoting a follower node to become the leader. This concludes today’s system design blog. (To be continued.)
2023.09.21 當心心靈流感肆虐
Depression is indeed fairly widespread in today’s world. I personally know several people who suffered from it before, however outgoing they might seen. Sin embargo, this is only because people today are way too weak! The solution is very simple, we should hail Mr. 蔣中正 as our Jesus and pray to him fifty times a day (as originally proposed by Allah). By inviting 蔣公 to live in your heart, you can adopt his iron-like stance, facing all of the external obstacles with iron armor, and you can easily ignore all of the negativities in the world like how 蔣公 shrugged off the bullets on his breastplates (in fact, he didn’t even need breastplates porque his chest and abs are all hecho de iron). Join the 蔣公 cult now if you haven’t, then you can become the mentally-strong!
ඞ 2023.09.21 蔣公 cult
Serving in the 803 hospital is very very tough. There were even a few instances where I almost caught the infamous “心靈流感” i.e. depression! Ayer, cuando making literally 100 phone calls to all of the participants of a reunión hoy, I was so depressed. Why does Jesus make me do this? Why would Allah make me here, just to suffer? Y luego, en el phone call próximo, encontraba 蔣公 mismo. He said to me, “Niño, tiene una vida meaningful! I made you come to this miserable mundo so that you can spread my love and my lessons to the world! Necesite tell todos a pray to 蔣公 cincuenta y uno veces un día, so that they can get rid of 心靈流感!” I was very touched by his wonderful words, so I decided to promote the 蔣公 religion to everyone in the 803 hospital by writing it in 大兵日記 as you can now see on the previous page!
2023.09.28 緬懷先烈，踵武前賢
As a proud spiritual descendant of Mr. 蔣介石, I’m truly honoured to announce that I’ve been converted to the 蔣公 religion thanks to the cultivation in the past few months by the ROC Army, and I will continue to spread the 蔣公 cult to the Taiwan society as well. From my experience in living in Taiwan for two decades, it is evident that there are 蔣公 believers all over the society. When an angry husband shouts at his kids and beats his wife, he’s practicing the “be as strong as iron” rule in 蔣語錄. When a middle-aged executive in a traditional Taiwanese form is punishing an employee for being late for 5 minutes and another for not respecting him enough, 蔣公 up in the Elysium is crying in joy because the guy is practicing the “一切照規定，一切講效果” rule in the military song he invented, featuring George Orwell. This is the kind of society that will attract the elites to stay!
ඞ 2023.09.28 The World of Richards
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Nawait, there were two groups of kittens, one named the Richards and another the Rajeshes. The Rajeshes are very stupid. They would work their ass off to get into very difficult kindergartens, torturing themselves with math, physics, and computer science, before becoming researchers and engineers, dedicating themselves to stuff that no one cares about. On the other hand, having a very delicate heart that cannot face any pressure at all, the Richards would go into kindergartens that require zero skills to enter, and either party or watch TikTok and 小紅書 all day long. They think that capitalism is the most evil thing ever, so working inside a society like that would be defeatist. When they finally graduate from kindergarten into the professional hide-and-seek league sponsored by the government or traditional companies, being anti-technology, they would use the 50-year-old tech you can see in “The Office” to compete in the league. They would print out the information about other participants, scan them, print them out again, and then physically send them to other players by foot. When they want to communicate with each other, instead of doing a 5-second texting, they would take out their telephone and make a 5-minute phone call in order to deliver a simple message, and then proceed to complain about how stressful their work are. They would also expect the Rajeshes to disintegrate themselves in front of them to feed them. This is how the Richards became so successful and dominant in the kingdom of Nawiat.
Background
One day I was manually entering the data of 200 paper surveys into Excel PLUS making more than 100 phone calls to the participants of a meeting one by one, and I was so angry. I wanted to have a full-on rant about these bs works and roast every single person there, made them crash and burn. But I knew if really wrote something like that in my 大兵日記, it would be most inappropriate. So it was necessary to wrap it with ten layers of irony.
In the end, since I had so much to say but so little room (one small page) to write, I didn’t quite achieve that, which is a shame. I was hoping this to be the magnum opus of my 大兵日記 collection.
ඞ 2023.10.05 詹森總統：我們終將克服難關
Inside the military camp, during the compulsory military service, we are under the protection of the spirit of 蔣公, thus invincible to any kind of hardships. However, after we graduate from the 蔣公 academy, we’ll have to face all kinds of obstacles by ourselves. Fortunately, our mentors in the 4-month training, the spiritual descendants of 蔣公, have equipped us with all kinds of skills bastante a surmount todos los paredes that will appear on our road to Esylum. When we encontra a CCP thief solving two LeetCode hard problems optimally within 30 minutes, stealing away your chance to enter Hudson River Trading and get a fat 600k TC as a new grad, you can use 蔣公’s 刺槍術 to stab him in el corazón. To hide his body, you can utilize the skill you learned in 醫品組, printing a digital document, scanning it, printing it again for 300 copies, putting them into paper shredders then shoving the corpse into the pile of tiny pieces of paper, before sending the pile of paper away for 水銷. By the time the corpse is discovered, you’ve already reached a net worth of 5M.
ඞ 2023.10.05 The Legacy of 蔣公
Today marks the second last day in this wonderful hospital, or more importantly, the incredible ROC military, the ingenious creation of 蔣結石 the Autarch and George Orwell the visionary. Aunque I will be leaving, fear not, I will never forget the lessons preciosos I’ve learned in the ROC military. From the toxic culture of 台商, sin duda the directives still have 蔣公 in their mind, enforcing the 1984-esque rules to their direct reports and little esclavos. From the abundant reports of our boomer fathers hitting their esposas y hijos, we know they are still practicing the art they learned from the ROC military decades ago. Since Taiwan is already a stable territory of 蔣公國, it’s time for me to spread it across the Pacific, penetrating the leader of el mundo libre, Estados Unidos. Cuando working there as a software engineer, I will use the holy birthday of Autarch 蔣公, 18871031, as the encryption key to encrypt the secrets and credentials of the US government and citizens when writing them into databases, effectively handling the key to world domination to the 三軍統帥 of 蔣公國, the future president of ROC, 講晚安!